COUPLE OF POINTS

Went down to union yesterday. Must say i didn't have as much fun as i expected. :( Lack of dance space, too many pros, too few familiar faces, yadda yadda.... anyways, i think i wont be going down to union if my group ain't going down from now on... ...

Anyways, this post is not about salsa. I finally went to watch King Kong with jian and jinn yesterday. Was a great show. It seems that on King Kong's island, humans seem t be the bottom of the food chain. I mean even insects like spiders and cockroaches wanna eat us up... ... In this movie, the main gist is that King Kong falls in love with his pet human who happens to be none other than Naomi Watts aka Ann Darrow in the movie. Well essentially, its equivalent to me falling in love with my pet hamster... ... thats if i have one. By the way, Kong died in the end.

This movie, proves a long standing theory propose by a few of my wayward buddies ( jinn, jian, victor n jwo) to be true. According to them, times have changed. The hunks don't get the babes. Instead, the ugly ones have taken over and many couples you see nowadays consist of either a great hunkalicious guy with a less than average looking gal or a big fat ugly slob with a babelicious gal.

Someone get him a beer

To further elaborate their theory, let me set afew things straight. A couple (normal straight one, not those gay or lesbian couples) consists of a guy and a gal. Since each and every individual have different looks, we award them different sets of looks points. The higher the looks points, the beeter looking the person. So a hunk like lets say... ... Bradd Pitt or takeshi would get maybe 80 plus to 90 points while not so good looking karren mok might get maybe a 45.

The theory stats that each couple will get a total of 100 points (guy points + gal points = 100). Thus, since the taotal points will always equal to 100, there can be 3 possibilities. 1) Handsome hunk & not so good looking gal 2) Super model and cave troll 3) plain jane and normal joe. That is why, we see good looking guys and not so good looking gals and vice versa, holding hands, smooching and walking along orchard road. Sorry people, i know how you feel. "Wah lau, toopid fat ass how come so lucky !!! Then that babe eyes pa stamp one ah... What does she see in him???" Sorry guys, it's a sad world...

Anyways back to king kong. This love story epitomises the whole theory. King kong, with his bad breath, overly hairy body, uneven teeth, size 146 feet and lousy speech abilities will get a grand total of 03 points. But look... who does he get? He gets.... .... ANN DAROW AKA NAOMI WATTS!!!. With nice blonde hair, flawless skin and such an expressive face, she gets... ... 97 points. This couple thus adds up to a grand total of 100 points!!!

Kong gets the babe

Ok oki... maybe u guys must be thinking king kong is fake cause he's a movie character. Here's another example. Remeber mini me form austin powers? Yah that short guy aka Verne Troyer. Well i quote from http://www.tv.com/verne-troyer/person/8285/summary.html... ... "Has been in an exclusive relationship with model and yoga instructor, Genevieve Gallen, since July 4, 2002. Couple met New Year's Eve at a private Mansion Party in Beverly Hills, for the Millenium, 2000."

Ok lets give dear mini me a looks point. Hmm... obviously challenged in terms of height, has very little hair, stubby and pudgy fingers, psycho-manical glint and well he has acted as an evil mini clone in a movie, he should get a score of 23.

Aww, don't you just wanna pinch his cheeks?

Hmm... how about Genevieve Gallen? She have been featured in Play Boy, awarded a full two year grant to return to and finish her degree as a designer in costuming for Film and Television at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising (FIDM), has nice hair, teaches yoga and is a MODEL!!!! Enuff said. She gets 77 points.

Must be the yoga... ...

Thus, it's true. The better looking you are, the less good looking your other half will be. Let's just say it's nature's way of finding balance, for... ...( husky voice) there must be balance in the force.....wahahahaha.

Back to dear young. what does it mean for him? Being overly tall, 1.93m, eyes which are way too small, funny ears, fat around the tummy and thighs, much like a cave troll except maybe he's not blue. He should get about 37 points?

Young was rudely awaken from his sleep

Thus back to the theory, he should get some one like denise keller? Being mixed blood and all, on the cover of all so many magazines and with a tv show under her belt, she gets at least 60 plus points. Young will definately be a happy man...wahahahahha...

Ranked 32 in SG FHM 04

After all that's said and done, i must admit. there are indeed flukes, abnormalities in the system. Remember Neo form the matrix??? Yep there are couples with a points totaling more then 100. Remeber bennifer? i know they broke up. So all u plastic kens and barbies, don't give up hope. Miracles do happen...lol

JAS CHRISTMAS SALSA PARTY 05


A bit late for this post.... but nevertheless... ... Went for this Xmas part on the 23rd organised by Julianae, Adrain and Serene... Lotsa fun, food and SALSA!!!! I wont say much. Here are some pictures.

The prelude

Moving too fast for the camera

Jean obviously disgusted by my wet shirt...

so i shall just lead her by the hand...lol

Nice hair... Not mine lah

Jwo and Shervonne having a go

JAS, thank you guys so much for organising the party. You guys definately made christmas so much more special for all of us :) SALSA ON!!!!!!

The funky ones.... Guess who graced the party too... ...

Ho Ho Ho... ....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! !!!

So this is why santa didn't get me presents this year... ...

Own time own target, Carry on... ...

The old flame... ...

Today, I finally got the chance to convert my weapon from the good' ol M16 to the spankingly new SAR 21 assualt rifle ( for all you non-military blokes out there, the SAR 21 stands for Singapore Assualt Rifle 21). Took the whole freakin day. There was the technical handling part in the morning, followed by a day shoot and then a night shoot in the night.

Here are 2 links if you are interested on the technicalities of the SAR 21 rifle.
http://www.stengg.com/CoyCapPro/detail.aspx?pdid=133 - some sort of an official site for the SAR 21.
http://www.janes.com/defence/land_forces/news/idr/idr000531_2_n.shtml- an article by janes.com on the SAR 21.

Anyways, i was a BOBO shooter for the day shoot. Got only 3 out of 12 shots on target. Well it has been ages since i fired a weapon and the SAR 21 is a new weapon to me. Its like ditching yer girlfriend for a new one and so one has to slowly find out more about her i.e. likes and dislikes before ironing out the quirks to enjoy a lasting relationship ( for those who seriously don't know what the hell im talking about, soldiers, especially infantry men, are told to treat their rifles as their wives as their lives depends on their rifles. I wanted to say ditch yer wife for a new one... but it sounds a bit extreme hence ditiching the girlfriend...hahahahah).

The new girl friend

Well the SAR is defiantely a great weapon to fire. 5.56mm caliber, lower recoil than the M16, with a 1.5x scope and an inbuilt Laser Aiming Device aka nifty laser pointer to irritate the hell out of yer enemy... :) plus it has a bull pulp design making it more compact and ideal for confined spaces.

The day shoot got me thinking. Firstly, from the almost marksman result i got for my last shoot when i was definately a more garang, leaner and meaner fighting machine, i have now become something more like a civilian in green, reading memoirs of a geisha( i have finished 3/4 of the book), putting on weight, shooting boboly and basically wanting to slack my way for 4 MORE MONTHS TILL I ORD!!! !!! People change... what more can i say...hahahaha
(Btw i did better for the night shoot....lol)

Oooo... Pink... ... the colour of my IC

Secondly, when i was squeezing the trigger, the simplicity of killing and destroying struck me. Killing a fellow human being could be achieved by simply pulling a trigger and in less than a second or 2, someone's life will be taken away.

Think of 20 or 30 years of tender love, care and concern plus huge amounts of money just suddenly going to waste in that split second. Imagine the energy and effort that it will take to save that guy's live. Infusing plasma, reconnecting arteries and what other what have you nots in arresting the bleeding just to stablize the guy. Not to mention the numerous years of rehabilitaion ahead of the casaulty if he lives.

Creating and giving life is such a slow and painstaking process yet killing and destroying is so disturbingly simple and effortless.

Peace ouy y'all!!!

Symbol of hope

Dance Dance Dance... ...


Last weekend was an activity filled one for me. First up on the 10th, there was Zouk Out, where thousands of half naked chiongster gathered together, half dazed and crazed from worshiping their god, alcohol. They met up at the island, sentosa, where suspect quite a few " tuo diao tuo diao" and rubbed shoulders, hands, legs, face, chests and other areas that cannot be imagined or mentioned in this blog....lol. I guess that from the amount of alcohol ingested, puking was the order of the day, giving our economy a shot in the arm as more aunties and uncles had to beemployed to clean up the mess that was left behind... ...

Anyways, i was not far from the island myself. There, a gathering of sorts was also in order. There, there were also half crazed people. However, they were high not from alcohol but the love of salsaing!!! It was the 4th (or was it 5th) annual JJSalsaRengue party held at the Far East Square Pavilion. There, people had lotsa drinks ... ... of ice lemon tea, iced green tea, ice peach tea... ... and they also enjoyed something the people on the island did not... ... FREE FLOW OF FOOD!!! Well it isn't such a big deal until you remember that the party was from 8pm till 2am.

Spot the belly dancers

Ah... there they are...

It was a blur of activity at the party. First up, there were the belly dancers to get us all in the mood. Boy could they move. They were so flexible that maybe they had a few ribs removed... i mean how else could their body movement be sooooo smooth...lol.... I suspect that clarence, famous for his disgustingly smooth body movements must have secretly signed up for belly dancing and practiced it at union square when i went for my toilet breaks.....hahahaha

After that opening act, it was salsa all the way. I started asking ladies, people i knew and strangers too, for dances. Someone also actually approached me for a dance too... wahahahahahaha. Once i started, i didn't really stop till about 1.45am save for the occasional toilet break, food break, bachata or merengue song and the periodic reuda and announcements from jackson. I think, i put the freakin DURACELL bunny and its ever annoying toy drum to shame. Salsaing is so much cooler then beating a stupid toy drum don't you think. Who needs duracell or even energiser man...hahahahah

Half crazed, half dazed

I guess many people would have noticed me that night for the fact that im very big (literally) and that i was wearing an orange ah beng shirt...lol... Well the theme was wildy colourful wad....hahaha. Jwo said i looked like a dead fish on the dance floor ( just had to type it out cos i seriously find that description funny...lol). Darius said i improved a lot. As for me i think i just looked like a Freakin cave troll in orange stomping around on the dance floor....hahahah

The orange cave troll

Lady in black

Black seems to be the colour of the day

Finally, striking pink... lol

I would like to thank all the people that i danced with (including clarence). People like Julianae, Cynthia, Camelia, Elieen, Maureen, Alicia, Shirine, Meilan, June, Shervonne, Rachel, Melody, Christine, Tracy, Jean and many many more nice people. Thanks for making that night such an enjoyable night :) ( P.S. i very sorry for elbowing 2 of you ladies... ... Mi bad....) I would also like to thank June and Jackson for organising such a wonerful party for us all.

Thank you all so much... ... Salsa on!!!

The next day when all the chiongster were nursing their wonderful hangovers and salsareos were sleeping in, i was off to Malaysia Truly Asia with my camp mates. We met at kranji MRT and took bus 170 to woodlands check point and crossed over to JB.

There, we had lunch and went to holiday plaza to shop. It was full of pirated games and dvds. I could just imagine the vendors wearing eye patches with cutlasses and parrots on their shoulders...lol.. Anyways, we split up, 2 couples and a group of three guys, and went to explore the lyabrinth of sleazy shops.

I wanted to buy clothes but i realised that the fashion that was sold was mostly for ah bengs and since the size of the average msian wasn't big, there was any clothes in my size... oh wells... In the end, sum, eric and i ended up at McDonalds. The Ladies on the other hand, were having a whale of a time, spending more than an hour at watsons alone...

Next up, we went for our dinner. It was the highlight of the trip for me at least. We went to this place full of seafood stalls and we ordered seafood!!! We had steamed fish, chilli crabs, butter clay fish, fried baby squid, tofu, shellfish, you tiao and fried mantou... ... Yum yum... My favourite was the clayfish. It's a cheaper kind of lobster but more expensive version of prawns....wahahahaha. The total bill came up to about RM217 which means each of us had to pay RM31 and translates to about SG$15 per person. Value for money indeed...hahahaha.

The backdrop for the feast

First the meditaion

Then the euphoria

Final sane moment

RM217 INSANITY!!!!

After dinner, we decided to further pamper ourselves by going for massages. We had 5 in 1 packages consisting of foot reflexology, shoulder,neck, hands and back massage. Jasmine had a full 60mins of foot reflexology while eric had a 30 mins shoulder, neck, hands and back massage.

~Put yer feet in the water then you soak them both together~

Pain? what pain?

I thought that i was going to be painful at first, especially the foot reflexology but it turned out to be very comfortable to say the least. The guy that massaged my foot said my feet are so thick and fleshy want to inflict pain also hard wad.... lol... what do you expect from a cave troll? lol. It was truly a refreshing experience. It really soothed out all the aches and pains...hahaha

The best part is... ... for that 60 mins pacakage, it cost each of us only RM45 man!!! !!! Do the maths....hahahahaha.

Ghostly sightings... ...

After that, we took cabs back to the checkpoint and walked back to singapore. It was indeed a day well spent. Wish you were there steve.....hahahahaha( Aint i evil)

My RM6.90 bounty

P.S. Dear readers. please feel free to leave comments on my tab board. It'll make me feel better as i know there are actually PEOPLE reading this blog, other than my neighbour's IT savvy gold fish...lol

My neighbour's IT savvy gold fish

MY DAY... ...


Hi folks, thanks for the birthday i had. I was very surprised that some of you actually remembered my birthday. Anyways, here's a rundown of the day's event.

I took off on my birthday so basically i slept till about 1pm. Played Dota till about 5 then went to Jurong point with my mum. I wanted to get a pair of sneakers and was looking for a pair of brown PUMA sneakers. We actually found it but as usual, the largest size was 12, 1 size smaller than what i wanted. I was sooooo disappointed. However, just as i was giving up liao, the shop owner showed me another pair of sneakers... ...

It was a pair of .... .... LEVIS SNEAKERS!!!!! well it was much nicer than the puma one. It was also a size 12 but the cutting was much bigger and it fitted my big feet nicely....lol.

The LEVIS sneakers... ...

Red tab... ...

It was $114.95 but seeing that it was my day, my mum graciously bought it for me... :) thanks mum!!! This pair of shoes really goes well with my jeans!!!

Nice shoes and jeans...wahahahaha

We went home after that for dinner. My grandma prepared a special dinner too... Got prawns, meatballs, sea cucumbers, clams, soup.... wah!!! I enjoyed dinner and had chocolate cake...

The feast!!!

My grandma the chef...

Went down to JJ for salsa lesson and then proceeded to union square. There, the salsa gang surprised me with another birthday cake. :) It was a BBBBIIIIIGGGG mango cake with my name written on it, courtesy of may. Thanks alot guys and gals. I was pleasantly surprised. :) It was great. Jwo and clarence drank themselves silly though. I heard they had like 7 shots of assorted alcohol. I was enjoying my cake when jwo jumped me and splattered my face with cake. Thanks alot pal.... Remind me to return the favour in Jan..... wahahahahahaha...

The salsa gang... ... Thanks alot guys n gals...

3 Guys, 14 shots...

Didn't you know... ... cream is the latest skin care product...lol

Afterwards, we had another round of shots and danced the night away... ...

I would like to thank everyone for a great birthday. I may not have received any prezzies ( other than the LEVIS sneakers!!!!) but i have great friends and a great family.... who cares about presents...hahahahaha

TODAY IN HISTORY, SOMETHING GREAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!

:)

Soccer Hooligans

Warning: The following post contains traces of explicit language. Not suitable for children under the age of 18. Reading it may bring about certain side effects like nausea, vommitting, diahorrea, sweaty palms, irregular heart beat, elevated blood pressure and cold sweat. If accidentally exposed to the post, rinse with lots of happy thoughts and seek medical attenton immediately....lol


Finally, after 1 whole week of providing panadol and plasters to NS men ( btw the staple food of nsmen is really panadol....lol) and also teaching them how to use the bloody FAD, i thought friday was finally a break for us. Well it was, for most of us that is. I on the other hand realised that i had to cover a soccer match between armour and logistics at 3.30pm.

I wasn't very enthusiastic about it because i was freaking tired from sleeping at 3am ( courtesy of salsa). Tried to ask steve to cover but he wasn't up to it too. In the end we drew lots and i lost....lol I guess im just fated to cover it .... And so, i prepared my stores and proceeded to help set up the admin area for the soccer match and started to cover it.

The match seemed pretty long to me. I mean everything related to work seems long on friday afternoons right...lol. The match was rather uneventful. I was struggling to keep awake. All this changed in the last 10 minutes.... ....

I was in a state of semi-consciousness with the Zzz monster calling out to me when suddenly, i noticed a commotion on the field. Apparently, a player was lying on the ground. The referee called me in and i helped that guy out. That guy was suffering from cramps in the calf. I helped him stretch his calf muscle and soon he was fine. This logistic player was very friendly and thanked me.

Soon after, there was another commotion on the field. This time round, it was an armour player that was down. It was more dramatic then the logistic guy. He was rolling on the ground, groaning in pain. His nose was bleeding too. The referee then asked meto bring him off the field. And so, i half dragged him to the side.


This is your last chance to turn back... seriously...



When we reached the side, he crumpled onto the ground. He was clutching his groin and groaning in pain. Being the professional medic that iam, i proceeded to ask him what happened. He didn't reply me and just said groin pain gron pain. Oki... so i know that your balls hurt but i need to know how you sustained it what.... So i asked him again.... ...

Guess what that maggot swine replied... .. " Medic can u shut the fuck up and do what your're supposed to do!!!" ... ... KNNB CCB!!!! what the fuck sia.... ... here i am trying to find out more to help that piece of shit and there he is asking me to shut the fuck up... ... I was pissed off. How the hell am i supposed to know what happened to your bloody balls. A ball hit it? You were tackled roughly? Or maybe you surfed too much porn the night before and wanked too hard till it hurted... Fucking asshole!!!!

Anyways, i was damned pissed off andso i responded in kind. Scolded him back. I seriously wanted to give his balls another good kick and hear him squeal. See how he's gonna celebrate father's day. Hmm....i should have just took out my alcohol swabs and forced it down his throat. Maybe i'll pour in some centrimide and squeeze in some chlorohexadine cream too. Make him soooo high tillhe passes out them poke him a few times with a 16 G.... .... Bloody idiot.... ...

Anyways, i asked himto stretch his groin area. His nose was bleeding so i passed him a few pieces of gauze to let him clean up and told him in plain simple layman english to leave his nose alone and not to blow it, lest it disturbs any clots already formed so that bleeding will stop. Desipte several attempts on my part to ask him to leave his bloody nose alone, it couldn't register into that thick numb skull of his and he continued to blow his nose anf flick his bloodied mucus around.

Maybe it was the english that i used. Maybe i spoke too fast for him to comprehend my message. Then again i think its because the only english words that he knew were that of soccer player and club names.

That idiot then continued to sniffle and wasted all of my gauze and 2 cotton balls. Bloody faggot....

By the way, armour drew with logistics and so armour was relegated but at least for number 16, he was awarded a bloody nose and painful balls. Enjoy sucker... ...

Morale of the story?

Some arseholes just have to be given a good kick in the balls from time to time so that they can wake up their fucking ideas.

Who needs nukes when you have a soccer ball... ...