Soccer Hooligans

Warning: The following post contains traces of explicit language. Not suitable for children under the age of 18. Reading it may bring about certain side effects like nausea, vommitting, diahorrea, sweaty palms, irregular heart beat, elevated blood pressure and cold sweat. If accidentally exposed to the post, rinse with lots of happy thoughts and seek medical attenton immediately....lol


Finally, after 1 whole week of providing panadol and plasters to NS men ( btw the staple food of nsmen is really panadol....lol) and also teaching them how to use the bloody FAD, i thought friday was finally a break for us. Well it was, for most of us that is. I on the other hand realised that i had to cover a soccer match between armour and logistics at 3.30pm.

I wasn't very enthusiastic about it because i was freaking tired from sleeping at 3am ( courtesy of salsa). Tried to ask steve to cover but he wasn't up to it too. In the end we drew lots and i lost....lol I guess im just fated to cover it .... And so, i prepared my stores and proceeded to help set up the admin area for the soccer match and started to cover it.

The match seemed pretty long to me. I mean everything related to work seems long on friday afternoons right...lol. The match was rather uneventful. I was struggling to keep awake. All this changed in the last 10 minutes.... ....

I was in a state of semi-consciousness with the Zzz monster calling out to me when suddenly, i noticed a commotion on the field. Apparently, a player was lying on the ground. The referee called me in and i helped that guy out. That guy was suffering from cramps in the calf. I helped him stretch his calf muscle and soon he was fine. This logistic player was very friendly and thanked me.

Soon after, there was another commotion on the field. This time round, it was an armour player that was down. It was more dramatic then the logistic guy. He was rolling on the ground, groaning in pain. His nose was bleeding too. The referee then asked meto bring him off the field. And so, i half dragged him to the side.


This is your last chance to turn back... seriously...



When we reached the side, he crumpled onto the ground. He was clutching his groin and groaning in pain. Being the professional medic that iam, i proceeded to ask him what happened. He didn't reply me and just said groin pain gron pain. Oki... so i know that your balls hurt but i need to know how you sustained it what.... So i asked him again.... ...

Guess what that maggot swine replied... .. " Medic can u shut the fuck up and do what your're supposed to do!!!" ... ... KNNB CCB!!!! what the fuck sia.... ... here i am trying to find out more to help that piece of shit and there he is asking me to shut the fuck up... ... I was pissed off. How the hell am i supposed to know what happened to your bloody balls. A ball hit it? You were tackled roughly? Or maybe you surfed too much porn the night before and wanked too hard till it hurted... Fucking asshole!!!!

Anyways, i was damned pissed off andso i responded in kind. Scolded him back. I seriously wanted to give his balls another good kick and hear him squeal. See how he's gonna celebrate father's day. Hmm....i should have just took out my alcohol swabs and forced it down his throat. Maybe i'll pour in some centrimide and squeeze in some chlorohexadine cream too. Make him soooo high tillhe passes out them poke him a few times with a 16 G.... .... Bloody idiot.... ...

Anyways, i asked himto stretch his groin area. His nose was bleeding so i passed him a few pieces of gauze to let him clean up and told him in plain simple layman english to leave his nose alone and not to blow it, lest it disturbs any clots already formed so that bleeding will stop. Desipte several attempts on my part to ask him to leave his bloody nose alone, it couldn't register into that thick numb skull of his and he continued to blow his nose anf flick his bloodied mucus around.

Maybe it was the english that i used. Maybe i spoke too fast for him to comprehend my message. Then again i think its because the only english words that he knew were that of soccer player and club names.

That idiot then continued to sniffle and wasted all of my gauze and 2 cotton balls. Bloody faggot....

By the way, armour drew with logistics and so armour was relegated but at least for number 16, he was awarded a bloody nose and painful balls. Enjoy sucker... ...

Morale of the story?

Some arseholes just have to be given a good kick in the balls from time to time so that they can wake up their fucking ideas.

Who needs nukes when you have a soccer ball... ...