Torch Lights: The ultimate weapon against evil...


I went to watch DOOM today, starring the rock, Karl Urban and some other people. My dear friend jwo was gracious enough to watch it with me even after he attended chruch in the morning and gave tuition in the afternoon. Thanks dude... Anyways, this movie is basically a movie based on the popular fps games series, doom. This movie is your typical zombie film. Experiment gone wrong, genetic manupilation, monster formed, goes around killing all the scientists, zombies formed, group of marines sent to retrieve data and shut down facility, marines and zombie fight, marines die one by one, last hero left, blah blah blah....

Zombie flicks.... where people forget to turn on the lights...

Anyways, as with all zombie movies, the setting will be in a dark location, be it the sewers, dark alley at night or in this case, a research lab which conviniently is dark. The human beings will suddenly become dumb, forget to turn on the lights if any and walk into the dark alone. The zombie will then proceed to pop out of the dark and bite the innocent fellow who will turn into a zombie later in the show. In DOOM, the first marine to die did so in a dark sewers where his torchlight just happily decided to die out...

Your gun is big... but the zombie's gonna eat yer brains out anyway....

I mean what the hell!!!! Humans are meant to be smart right. (Most of it that is... Cos some humans still smoke their way to lung cancer, screw around casually to get aids, take drugs to kill brain cells, all in a bid to die early painfully....) Zombies always kill in the dark as people cannot see them and so cannot run away. So for heaven's sake, if you're fighting zombies, please find the freakin light switch and turn on the lights. At least you'll be able to see the poor bugger and run away. Either that or you could sit down and convince him that plastic surgery is good for him, sell him some cosmetics to mask his hideous scars or at least offer him some breath mints.

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The wonders of cosmetic surgery....

When facing zombies, always bring along a servicable torchlight. The bigger the better. Forget the puny AA sized or AAA sized battery ones. Bring along minimum C sized ones. If your are on a tight budget or just plain cheapo, you can actually get green plastic C sized L torches that are quite bright and water resistent for about 3 bucks from beach road. If you have many pockets or better still a backpack, bring along multiple torches because you never know when your torch will die out ( just like in doom). Even if your torch doesn't die out, you can share the spare ones with your friends. Anyways, with big torches, life will be better as you will be able to find the zombie easier and vice versa, cutting short the chase. If your torch is a big MagLite one, lagi better. Not only you can blind the zombie and smack him in the head with it, you can also use your giant MagLite to beat up the bloody road hogs that block the road and whack up the guy that is trying to jio your girlfriend.

The perfect tool for smashing zombies and whacking ah bengs... ...

Anyways, always remember to have ample lighting in whatever you do. Be it fighting zombies, walking around or reading a book, always have enough light or risk been eaten by zombies, tripping over stuff and cracking your head and spoiling your eyesight.... lol.... adios.... :)

Yoda fights evil with a green 3M fluorescent tube... ...

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