DENGUE KILLS.....

Anyways, yesterday in camp, i was tasked to do something in a bid to fight dengue. A certain WO realised that there was going to be an inspection by HQMC and....... Gosh!!!! there were many puddles of stagnant water in our camp, especially in our clogged up lao kok kok drainage system..(well the camp is as old as me u know...hahahaha). There was definately enough breeding grounds for the toopid AEDES (kinda sounds like HADES) mosquitoes to start a dynasty, complete with their own forbbiden palace and great wall....lol.... getting rather lame here....hahaha.

Anyways, in a last ditch attempt to stop the mosquitoes from " chuan dong jie dai"ing (carrying on new generations) and to smoke the inspector that we actually are concerned and actively take up measures, i was arrowed by means of a composite bow, coupled with 10x magnification sniper scope and loaded with silver tipped arrows... well only silver tipped stuff are effective against monsters...hahahaha. i was supposed to walk around the camp,seek out suspicious pools of stagnant water, pour oil into them and in turn stop the mosquitoes from bredding but most importantly smoke the inspector that we did our homework. Usually, the oil used by the pesterminators to do the job is a composite of sugar, spice and everything nice plus a certain chemical X, kind of like the recipie for the powerpuff girls...lol.... Most people been cheapo as usual, use stuff like kerosene. Multi purpose mah.... cannot use finish can
still use to do stuff like strip paint, burn cars, burn debtors house, put in the coffee of the boss you hate and even as a refreshing drink to end it all...hahahahahahah. However, been the army and stuff where brains are scarce resources and the budget is tighter than your girlfriend's belt, i had to make do with around 450ml of rifle oil... the stuff you use to keep your dear weapon from rusting so that you can perform better during ATP or at least avert a few extra duties. So, i spent around an hour and a half after lunch walking around camp under the hot september sun, tracking and seeking out my elusive preys' hideouts and carefully poured oil into them by the bottlecap fulls. The oil droplets touched the water and burst into circular rainbows like national day fire works liddat except smaller and much cheaper. Machan pirated cd shops around the island kena raided one by one, i painstakingly shut down their watering holes. Was quite a feat considering that i actually managed to cover the whole camp with that measly 45oml....lol... Later that day, the inspector came down and checked the place. He was pleased that he could see that the place had been oiled... Phew... talk about last minute work.... Muhahahahahah what's pesterminator when you have young...hahahahahaha

Anyways i was thinking about the toopid mosquitoes after that. Besides fogging and oiling, i came up with a very ingenious idea to battle these hated mosquitoes. The blood suckers are females after all( same case for human beings...lol). And what are females usually attracted to? Hot bodied young men...wahahahah...
so this is what we should do.

1) Design a human sized inflatable man dolls. They should resemble Brad Pitt, biceps and all.
2) Dress these dolls up with skimpy costumes like the one brad pitt wore in TROY. If on a tight budget, a tight red g-string will work fine.
3) Ask for blood donations from morbidly obese people. Preferably, bmi more than 105 ... the bigger the better.
4) Fill up the dolls with the blood collected. Use a funnel to avoided spillage.
5) Place these dolls in various spots. Remember to warn the public to prevent mass hysteria from seeing the ghastly dolls.
6) Watch the female blood suckers home in and feast on the ghastly man dolls.
7) Prepare to sweep away the mosquitoes that drop dead subsequently.

Clever right. the female mosquitoes, been attracted by the brad pit dolls will go and bite it and suck the blood inside. The blood from the obese people will usually contain high amount of fatty deposits and unhealthy cholesterol. Thus, on feeding on the blood, the mosquitoes will subsequently suffer from heart attacks as their tiny ateries will be clogged up by all the fats from the blood and quickly drop dead as there will be no one to give mosquito CPR or use the external defrillbilator( the you clear i clear everyone clear.. zappy machine found in hospitals). Thus they will all die swiftly. Therefore, there will be no more females mosquitoes to bite us poor human beings and so no more transmitting of dengue fever.... Problem solved, case closed......YAY! I told you i am smart...hahahahahahah

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The dreaded female blood sucker...