Im weird..... Anyways... was reading a friends blog and started to think...

I relish the freedom of solitude but can't live without people around me.

Oxy moronic right? But its true. I GUESS (a very big guess)many people see me as uber out-going, Talk way tooooooo much rubbish, sometimes too full of myself, maybe a hint of arrogance, bubbly walking big friendly giant, sometimes i can be nice, sometimes abit irritaing (yesh dear people i noe.... iam always trying to change but it takes time.... it aint feel nice being scolded by people too u noe..hahahah), in yer face attitude, maybe abit whiny at times.... yadda yadda yadda.... you get the picture. An extrovet.

I do agree... iam an extrovet. I like people.... well most of them and i feel energetic around people..(machan ci xin da fa liddat suck all yer energy...wahahahahahha) i love company.i live to be around people.....

BUT at the same time, i like being ALONE.I eat alone many a times. I have friends who tell me they rather be dragged out and shot than eat alone but sometimes i enjoy it. Can't remember the countless meals i had alone. At food courts, fast food resturants(btw i don really like mac donalds... the food there is so.... erm commercialized?... bleah... damn sick of it...den again could be cos i had one too many meals at macs when i was young.... n hence mi size...hahaha), kopi tiams with nice aunties and uncles, S11s, small quaint cafes........ the numerous milo pengs and teh Cs.... The solitude is so calming. Gives me time to think, to reflect, to slow down and take in the sights and smells... the sound of pots and pans, maybe that jazzy music playing in the background and the smells..... curry perhaps? or maybe the aroma of char shew???... ahh... seriously the feeling is very enticing....

When i have no one to catch that movie with or kick ass in that game, i also like to go exploring ALONE... I like to walk into various shopping centers, depending where i am, especially the run down ones. Maybe its because of the thrill of exploring a brand new place alone, maybe it's the high of venturing into the unknown. My senses sharpen, looking out for anything quaint, maybe a specialty shop?.... By the way i have found many nice toy shops this way...hahahaha... if you are interested can come ask me...lol..... I always feel a sense of freedom, like the numerous lines binding me suddenly snap all at once..... and i get that sudden surge of euphoria when i find something new. Orgasmic.... Especially when i enter a small, tucked in a corner shop and find something nice......


However when i am alone and thoughts start to wonder , i think of being around people. i think of friends and family. i think of happy thoughts with people. Im just very wierd i guess. Sometimes when im around people and things happen all around me so quickly, i think of being alone in that idyllic cafe down that road, that quaint looking mall in that area... But there is one thing i know... that is i love my friends and family.... can't live without them....


But then again, im wierd......lol