Hello folks......yesterday, i met my secondary school chemistry teacher in camp. I was on my way back to the office to get my bag n leave when i saw this familiar face smiling at me. Was abit stunned cos which normal heterosexual male in the right frame of mind would smile at another guy, especially in uniform..... Anyway, after a moment hesitation, i went forward and started a conversation and realised that he was my chemistry teacher. As far as i can remember, he was a nice chap, didn't really raise his voice often and had this gentlemenly aura around him.

The first thing that he said was.." Wah you very tall leh. Last time i saw you you were only until here..." as he beckons to his shoulder "...You shoot up so much ah...." and we chatted and caught up with each other for awhile before he went on with his work. He's a major who is serving his in-camp training. This brings me to the thing that i want to talk about today...... drum roll please.....


...... IT'S TOUGH BEING TALL.......


If you dont know me, i'm 1.93m tall. Yes, i's tough being tall. The general public somehow has this obessesion that tall is good. Being tall allows you to see further, breathe in fresher air, look better(i guess), change light bulbs easily, play better basketball, hang the laundry out easily, reach out for that elusive jar of chocolate chip cookies on that Mt Everest height shelve, yadda yadda yadda... Well so of them are true esp the part about looking better.....wahahahahahah..... however i must say..... as of everything else on this forever revolving sphere that looks like a giant jaw breaker( the sweet that you can buy from the science center that took forever to suck..) from space, EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE..... AND BEING TALL COMES WITH A VERY HEAVY PRICE....

Here are some of them...
1. Taking Public Transport Is A Torture... When one is tall, it is very uncomfortable to take buses. Have you the general public ever noticed how freakinly small the leg room between seats is? Poor tall people like us with our long legs can never squeeze into the leg room no matter how hard we try. We usually end up in awkward positions, with entangled calfs and folded thighs, much like a squashed long legged spider. Our positions would most probably put yoga masters to shame. Coupled with inconsiderate people who obviously dont give a damn even after we give them obvious signs to tell them that we need 2 seats to fit our legs, who proceed to further ram us into the inner seat. They think we can stretch and bend like mr fanastic from fantastic 4. Oh well... sorry to wake you up...... MR FANTASTIC IS A FREAKIN COMIC BOOK CHARACTER!!!!!!......... So from crush spiders, we become more like flattened pieces of i dont know what.....

2. Buying Clothing And Shoes Becomes arder Then Making Your Baby Brother Eat His Broccoli... Being tall and all, we naturally come with longer bodies and limbs and bigger feet. If you have actually studied economics before, you would be familiar with the supply and demand curve. Since we all agree that the number of tall people in our small island is rather small, our demand curve for larger sized apparels would be place very near to the price axis and so assuming that the supply curve is constant ceteris paribus, the quantity of larger sized apparels for us poor tall people would be small. Voila! finding shirts, pants, skirts, shorts, shoes, sandals and what have you not would thus be sooooooooo much harder than finding a needle in a hay stack. When most people shop for shoes, they would normally choose a model that they fancy and approach the attendants to pick out their size. For us tall people, it's the other way round. We approach the nice store attendants and ask they "erm excuse me... eh which shoe model comes in sizes 13 or 14 or bigger?". We'll be greeted with maybe a raised eyebrow or yelp of disbelief before they get over the initial shock and proceed to help us in our quest to keep our feet covered. I have had so many encounters in which the shoe that i wanted to be did not have my size, the latest one being the new black canvassy nike all classic cross trainer sold at suntec city mall.

3. We Start To Resemble Automated Phone Answering Machines... Yes it is true. Take me for example. When i go to most major food courts, kopitiams, S11s, popular bookstore and any other place that sells stuff, i'll usually be faced with the following. "Xiao di ah... ni hen gao leh... ni duo gao hah? you mei you liu che gao?"(eh small boy ar... how tall are you hah? got about 6 feet tall or not?) i'll den have to say something like "eh... wo bu dong wo ji che, ke shi wo you 1.93m gao lah."(eh im not sure if im 6 feet tall, but im 1.93m tall). Then the uncle, auntie, madam, sir will proceed to ask me how come im so tall? do i play basketball? Then, i'll have to explain that my father is tall so it runs in the genes and that i dont play basketball. They'll then go on to say its a waste i dont play basketball ... blah blah blah.... Imagine having to go through this same old routine like millions of times dont you think i'll get sick of it? hell... even the army serves different food every meal(but for the record, army food still sucks...) If i got a dollar for every such conversation that i have, i think i'll be a multi-billionare!!! whats donald trump man... i'll probably just buy over his companies and stuff and start my own " the apprentice". I'll invite secondary school students with high grades in their crummy project work and maybe ask donald trump along too. let them compete and i'll probably insult donald a bit and tell him "YER FIRED!!!" in the last episode...lol. by the way whats up with not playing basketball man. I know that being tall does have some advantages but i dont like it what... i mean cant i like salsa, guitar, painting, squash or tennis instead? well at least with salsa, i'll get to come into close contact with hot looking, vavacious babes that can really groove(trust me on this) rather that rub shoulders and chest and elbows and maybe knees with hot sweaty and disgusting guys.... yucks.... So next time, if you happen to come across a nice tall fella, say something like "woah what nice eyes/ears/lips/nose or what you find attractive... you have. I think yer damn good lookin. Can you like autograph my tight tee here and maybe if you dont mind let me have yer phone number too..." i thnink that tall guy/gal would appreciate it much better...muahahahahah



WEll, to further prove my point, here are somethings that people who are vertically more challenged actually enjoy.
1. If he's in the army, he'll be glad cos he wont have to dig a big shell scrape or a deep trench.
2. He or she would be able to squeeze through crowds rushing to get hello kitties from mac donalds
3.If he or she was a stalker, it would be sooooo much easier to hide and camouflage into surrounding bushes.
4. If he or she is short enough, under 1.2m.... or is it 0.9m, travelling on public transport would be free.... imagine the amount of money saved.
5.You will be able to shop i the childrens clothes department... which is usually cheaper
6.It'll be easier to pass of as a kid under 12 and buy children tickeets to exhibitions.

and the list goes on and on... too much for me to type since i dont want to get blisters on my precious fingers.

In conclusion, tall people are actually poor souls but people keepp getting the wrong idea. You might think that what i have said is extremely biased and one sided.... but well i aint typing a GP essay...muahahahahaha... but then again maybe thats why i only got a A2 for gp......lol.....Be nice to tall people.... :)